Self inflicted pain..

I won't be satisfied until everyone leaves my life completely. I love being alone because I feel as if I do not fit in with people. But at the same time I hate being alone because I feel like I'm missing out on life. I find it ironic that i have an amazing and magnetic personality, but I don't want friends. I love and live to make people smile and laugh. Once they want to befriend me, I run away. I just don't want anyone close to me. I'm afraid of being let down. I don't to be lonely though. I can only talk to myself for so long. I'm borderline insane; and it's all my fault. I drive myself into a ditch all the time. I'll never let my guard down because people can sense vulnerability. Another reason I'm almost insane is that I never let out my feelings. I bottle my emotions in and explode at random times. Some seep out as I rant to myself but it's never enough. I need a shrink. I need drugs. I need sleep. Goodnight world


-Albert Parks